Changes (David Bowie type)

Wow. I had written an entire manifesto only to have it deleted. Is this my life?

It seems as if my creativity has been defrosting as of late. Is this what my life was supposed to be like? I got excited thinking about writing after work today. I finally feel like I have something to say. I feel inspired by life again. That’s the most rebellious thing you can do in this day and age. By focusing on the present and appreciating small victories, we unlock a more profound sense of fulfillment and happiness. Enjoy life as it unfolds—entirely, freely, and with an open heart. I think all I was ever meant to be in this world is to be free and to enjoy it.

In life, we all have choices. We can let our circumstances define us. We can be crippled by the thought of trying something new - pivoting, or we can just do what’s called on our hearts. It’s important to have a plan, though. But if something is draining the life out of you, then it’s time to call it quits.

Although I’ve just started my pivot, I understand that fear of failure could’ve kept me at my previous job. I know that I was living a comfortable life and making more yearly than the average Arkansan, but I was unhappy. I was simply unhappy with what I was doing. What my day-to-day looked like, the sacrifices I made, and well, the emotional turmoil that I had felt when it came to Soldiers. I do still feel a sense of guilt towards leaving them, but I need to take care of myself first. For once, I need to take care of myself.

Anyway, I’m not trying to compartmentalize my decision to convince myself. I’m convinced! It was the best decision I’ve made for myself. This is me telling you that I might not be returning to the old me —she’s long gone, but maybe, just maybe, the Daija who craved writing about her experiencing the world has paid the new Daija a visit.